The Clean Slate

Only once before have I truly felt like I had a clean slate. That was the day I was baptized in the Spirit. But with 2010 breathing down my neck, I find that each new day is, in fact, a clean slate to do with as I wish.

That gives me comfort and helps me to overcome the mistakes of all the yesterdays I have had to regret. Well, you know and I know I didn't HAVE to. But I'm human and I do stuff like that.

I've always dreaded the day when I would be able to look back and say, "God, I miss the old days." I always felt it would be because I was 102 or something like that. And who wanted to be that old?

But these days I am rethinking those thoughts and I am reinventing myself and redefining my life. It comes with a price. Hard decisions make for many a restless night. But then the struggles and wishy-washy attitudes do more harm than that.

Twenty years ago I lived here. And I grew by leaps and bounds due to special people who were in my life at the time. I thought I would come back here at this time in my life to try to recapture the feeling of the 'good old days.' But alas, it is ever so illusive.

And yet, under different circumstances with different people in my life, I am doing the same thing here today that I was doing 20 years ago. It always amazes me when I can see parallels like that.

I learned valuable lessons back then. But along the way I forgot them and was drawn into a downward spiral that I thought would never stop. Yet in the midst of that whirlpool God saw fit to lift me up and snatch me right out of it.

Now, full circle, I see the imitation of a life I once knew. And yet it is unique in its own way. But some things are constant. Some things aren't negotiable. Some things I learned helped me to become the person I am today. And it's only now after being here over a year that I can see what has happened... and more importantly... why.

My slate is as clean now as it was back then. I am the author of my own life. Tomorrow has all the promise and potential that it ever did. What is different now is that I can actually see it.

So what I would like to do is share a few of the pearls that have shaped me into the being I am now. I appreciate all your good thoughts and prayers. I most especially appreciate the support you give me, not to mention the kicks in the butt I need so desperately from time to time. What I value most is that you continue to believe in me when I find it hard to believe in myself sometimes. And for that... I am forever grateful.

Happy New Year to all of you.

1. I am a good person, I love myself and people care about me.
2. Forgive and remember.
3. God doesn't make any junk.
4. Life is difficult. It's suppose to be.
5. My star shines brightest in the dark sky.
6. There are some hurts I will never get over.
7. Nothing grounds me like a good dose of reality.
8. People aren't always as smart (or stupid) as they seem.
9. No deed (good or bad) goes unrewarded.
10. The race does not always go to the swift.
11. Time isn't my enemy.
12. Even in adversity, I am more blessed than I know.
13. Love isn't always a two-way street.
14. Fear is only faith turned inside out.
15. The best helping hand I will ever find is at the end of my own wrist.
16. Loss is almost always permanent.
17. I may be my brother's keeper but I cannot make his decisions for him.
18. Not everything is my fault.
19. It is more important to be at peace than it is to be right.
20. If God isn't in exile, then maybe it's me.
21. No matter the color, flavor or degree, a lie is still a lie.
22. Once upon a time never comes again... but there are always new stories waiting to be written.
23. I am only as broken as I want to be.
24. I cannot change the past, but I better accept it.
25. I am more than a human being. I am a human becoming.
26. I am the most perfect me I have ever been (subject to change).
27. If it is to be, it is up to me.
28. I am a child of God.
29. There are good reasons why some people from my past will never make it to my future... and finally...
30. May the Rest of Your Life Be the Best of Your Life!!!

So go out and pick up your slate. See what adventures you can conjure up for yourself this year. Be well. Be Happy. And may you stand in the Light of God...