If I Should Wake Before I Die

I have felt for a long time that I have a complete misunderstanding of God and not only who He is, but how He works. So when people in some circles I whirl would say to me that I should turn things over to the God of my understanding, I would flippantly quip, "You mean the God of my misunderstanding, don't you?"

Over the years that has come to be one of my most loving phrases. God knows I mean no disrespect when I say it because He truly knows that I know that His ways are such a mystery to me that twenty lifetimes would not even give me a glimpse as to the reasons for His actions.

So I got to thinking about some things of God. And one of those things was how God would view our actions here on this earth when the day comes that we finally meet. I was drawn back to a time that seems vaguely familiar to me, a time I wish I could remember in its entirety.

It felt strange at first putting on the God mindset. Who was I to dare to believe I could imagine anything God might do? And then I thought, "Well, he gave us a brain for a reason and it's not as if I am applying for His job. I'm not impersonating Him. I am just trying to be a better person by thinking of what guidelines He might use on that Final Day." This was the result...

　

If I Should Wake Before I Die

It would do me well, I reckon, to not only walk in the Light, but also to try on the Light from time to time. To strive for the perfection of God sometimes means trying to figure out exactly what God might do in a given situation. It isn't as easy as it might sound, and yet, I doubt it is complex either. Even with the guidelines given to us through sacred text humanity is still at war with itself. Religions differ, cultures differ, even laws differ at opposite ends of the world, and we are faced with all manner of enigmas and dilemmas.

And so today I travel back in time to a slower pace and a quieter time and I wonder about God and His Infinite Wisdom and Judgment. In the final analysis it will be He who decides my fate based on the choices I have made in this life. I think the whole key is not to pray to God in the manner of... "If I should die before I wake..." Instead, I believe I should pray to waken into the Light before I die.

At the end God will look at every incident in my life. I will be held accountable for each of them. And what seems to matter most to me may be insignificant to Him.

If I should wake before I die, I pray to know about those most important things. For I believe that...

• I won't so much be judged on those things I have done, rather those things I could have done were I only willing to obey God's wishes.
• I won't be judged on what I gave, rather the spirit in which it was given.
• I won't be judged on what I knew, rather what I ignored to learn.
• I won't be judged on where I went, rather for what purpose.
• I won't be judged on why I did certain things, rather why I didn't choose more wisely.
• And finally, I won't be judged for who I loved, rather how I loved.

Walking in The Light means being free from the shadows of my own nature. It means owning up to my character defects and shortcomings. It means being as right with God and those around me as I would have them be with me. It means opening up to new worlds with new options and new vistas. And to do that, indeed, I should wake before I die to experience every opportunity to emerge victorious.

Is it doable? It is happening before my very eyes... Happy Awakening!