The Card

Today was a special day. I wanted to continue the previous post, but I will delay that until tomorrow. I just had to tell you about this morning.

　

I was on my way in the door from grocery shopping trying to maneuver into the stairwell. The mailbox had mail. That's always the high point of my day. I grabbed the mail and headed up the long staircase five steps at a time then sitting and resting. I reached for the mail on one step halfway up. There was something from the veterinarian. I hoped it wasn't an addition to the bill. I had paid everything in full on Monday.

　

I finally made it up all 21 steps and into my apartment. I put away the refrigerator things and hurried for my breathing machine. That's always the end to a flight of stairs.

　

I sat breathing in the medication and reached for the mail once again. The rest was bills or junk, but the one from the vet really piqued my interest. It was a card.

The tree silhouetted in the sunset looked stunning. And as I began to read, I felt the tears fall from my eyes like rain. The note read,

"Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you. I loved you so... 'twas Heaven here with you."

　

I opened the card and inside it talked about how our loved companions never really leave us, that they live on in the happy memories of the times shared together. And it was signed by the vet and the workers at the clinic.

　

Until I read the card (the cover), I really didn't realize that I had been feeling guilty. You know how you can second guess yourself about things. And I guess I had been feeling that maybe if I had done something different Barney would still be with me. My head knows that's not true... but, oh my heart didn't know.

　

Those words struck me in such a profound way... "I loved you so... 'twas Heaven here with you." So concerned was I about my own fragile feelings, I had never considered how Barney might have felt. He did love me so... that's true. Never a day went by that he didn't follow me everywhere. When I would come through the door, whether I was gone a day or an hour, there he was to welcome me. Truly he loved me as much as I did him.

　

I cared for him in all ways. I tended to his needs. I was a good Momma to him. Why wouldn't he love me?

　

So here I sit now, knowing in my soul that I did the best I could and that he appreciated everything I did. No regrets. No more heartache than need be. Now to move on and remember all those good times... and there were many. You might get sick of hearing about them in the coming days. No matter. I am the one who needs to remember... in his honor, to show how loving and giving God is in our times of need, and how He gives us exactly what we need when we need it. Little did I know that on a sunny Spring day I needed a little black fur person to teach me how to truly love.

　

... to be continued...