An Incandescent Life

in-can-des'-cent - Emitting visible light as a result of being heated. Shining brilliantly; very bright. Characterized by ardent emotion, intensity, or brilliance.

I turn the key in the door and hear the distinct clunk of the deadbolt relieving itself from its duty. I turn the knob, walk in, close and lock the door behind me. I unconsciously number my steps toward the opposite wall to find the light switch. My shin catches the corner of the coffee table. Ow! That's the only purpose the shin has in life: to find furniture in the dark. I Ooo and Ahh until my hand finds the switch. And suddenly there is light! I think no more about it and go on about my business.

Hours later I am just coming to from a nap and my eyes seem transfixed on the light switch. I follow what, in my head, seems to be a path to the overhead light. I think, "There must be wiring behind that wall." It's the beginning. I let that idea 'cook' for a few days.

I sit here now, just wondering. What heats the mind? What makes some people just glow? What is the fuel that makes someone create a work of art or that spurs on the search for new medical cures or even the meaning of life itself? And then my mind drifts.

If an incandescent light bulb is powered by the wattage flowing through it, what makes the electrical impulses in our own bodies? The light bulb is connected to a power source. What are we connected to? Something must power us. My mind drifts again. It's all right. It does that a lot.

SCUBA gear maintains and guarantees our survival in the water. The name SCUBA itself is the acronym for what the device is: self-contained, underwater, breathing apparatus. No, no, that's just for surviving. I want to know what powers us. And I picture myself far, far away on some remote island snorkeling and just having fun. Ah yes, that would be fun. There I go drifting again.

I wonder if other people are in a constant state of questioning the world around them like I am. What makes that thing work like that? What's the difference between me and you really? What causes sickness in some and yet not in others? What's it really all about anyway, Alfie? I drift off again thinking about wattage as the power source.

What makes some people succeed and others fail? What drives a person to nearly complete a task only to give up when they have almost hit the home run? More accurately, what is the reason for giving up? Ahhh! Maybe the wattage is used up, I think. No power, no brightness.

Did you ever notice how much more alive you feel when you think you matter? Did you ever realize that the bigger the challenge, the more you have to search for answers? Could it be that simple? That we are powered by what drives us? That it really is the wattage after all? Not in the electrical sense. Not even spelled the same. For light bulbs it's wattage. For humans it's what-age.

We 'burn' with desire for answers. Answers to our problems, to our hopes, to our dreams. Well, as long as we keep striving for them, that is. We have our own incandescence that shows when we are joyfully pursuing that which feeds our souls. Creativity spawns more creativity. But turn off the questions and the incandescence fizzles.

I drift in hopes that i give off light. For once, I like my what-age. All those questions seem so meaningful now. Maybe if I'm lucky I will stumble upon an answer or two along the way too.

An incandescent life. Wouldn't that be a legacy to pass on? I've go to go. There's so much drifting to do.