"It's all energy," my friend says.

I don't know about you, but my energy gets sapped pretty quickly these days. It wasn't always so. But things change as you get older, so I'm told.

Back in the day, I could run with the best of them. All night parties, always on the go. "Never let the grass grow under your feet," was my motto back then. Because I had places to go and people to see, as the old saying goes. And go and see, I did.

Most people fell between courteous and downright friendly. Some were the saccharin kind, you know... the fair weather friends. They were the ones with the agendas, the users. And then there were the enemies. Oh what a nasty breed that was! All in all, it was a good mix. There needed to be the bad ones to appreciate the good ones.

Over the years I noticed that there were some people who would just drain me. Have you ever had that happen? You wouldn't quite notice it at first. But given the second, third and more times, you began to realize that there was something wrong with this picture, but it was so difficult to pinpoint. You could talk with this person for as little as five minutes and feel totally depleted.

In my 40s I met a woman who was very eloquent and outspoken. I admired her sense of fair play and her wit. One night sitting at her dining room table she talked about this very thing as I sat complaining about not having enough of myself to go around. She likened those kinds of people to parasites. She called them emotional leeches. She said children are the worst offenders. She would have known... she had five. Her advice was to just not let them get to you. It was sage advice, but it came without instructions.

As the years have passed since that conversation, I have at least been able to identify those emotional leeches. But I have never been very good at preventing it from happening. I'm always like the Bambi in the headlights when it comes to such things. I am always the last to know, and by then, it's too late. The damage has already been done.

The last few days have been especially hard for me. Unplanned disturbances have created havoc and suddenly I was reminded of that conversation from long ago. I wondered... did it pertain now? Is that why I was remembering it? And if it were, would I be able to sufficiently defend myself against it? Life can still have its way with me sometimes.

I 'googled' leech. Interesting little creatures they are! It seems that as they latch onto you they inject with their saliva an anesthetizing agent which prevents you from feeling the bite, as well as an enzyme which prevents the blood from clotting, thus ensuring constant blood flow.

That seemed very accurate as far as the emotional leeches were concerned. They attach themselves to you, get what they need, and then detach... all the time, you, the host, are unaware of their presence. By the time you realize what has happened, they are long gone and you are left emotionally used up.

But there was something missing... I couldn't quite figure it out at first. That piece, I thought, could be the key. And so I slept on it for a couple of nights. That's what usually happens when a 'foggy' idea grasps me. I have to let it gel, I call it. And so I let it go and the answer would come when it would.

Yesterday as I was sitting and staring out the window, the piece magically appeared to me. Those people? They aren't leeches at all. In some respects, leeches are useful. More and more they are becoming popular once again for medicinal purposes. Yes, even leeches have a purpose.

No. Those people are vampires. Emotional vampires.

Historically (my own history, that is), the emotional vampires have drifted in and out of my life. They come in and suck the lifeblood out of me and when I am spent, they discard me with no more regard than they would have for a dirty napkin. They are the takers, the users, the manipulators. They are self-centered with no idea of what it means to give.

Are they at fault? Are they pure evil? I don't think so. I think they have developed ways of living which no one has ever challenged before. If no one has ever called them on it and it has worked for them thus far, why would they change it? And you can't fault a person for not knowing. Ignorance is a simple lack of knowledge. Now stupidity is another matter. Stupidity is knowing and continuing in the wrong path regardless.

So what is it that makes a person an emotional vampire? I'm sure the 'causes' are as countless as the persons involved. What keeps them that way? In my opinion, it is lack of knowledge and no accountability.

So what do we do if we encounter one? Do we run the other way? Do we listen, do nothing, and keep getting drained? Do we become rude to them hoping they might just go away?

It's obvious they are needy. Some people are more needy than others. We all have our needs and we have the right to have our needs met. But what is sometimes missing in that equation is that we have the right to have them met - in a healthy way.

As a would-be friend to the emotional vampire, I believe it is our moral obligation to help to educate the person. We all have our problems. Some have worse ones. It's easy to walk away and leave the job to someone else. We all need love. Maybe they need a little more. Maybe... just maybe... they have never had any to begin with. Maybe that's the real problem. But we won't know unless we really take the time to investigate it.

We spend a lot of time obsessing about material things in this life. But all we really have to give that is uniquely ours is our time, our caring, our love. It is the one true thing of value that most of us place so little value on.

Maybe you don't know any emotional vampires. If so, you're very lucky, indeed. So spread that time, caring and love to all that you know. But if you are among those who DO know one... spend a little time with them, care enough to call them on their manipulations, and just love them until they can love themselves enough to not have to do it any more. It is an action as much for yourself as it is for the person receiving it, as long as it is done with love.

Because, remember... "It's all energy," my friend says, "all energy. Pass it on."

Oh yeah... and always wear garlic... lots of garlic.

Crocker, The Stray

I sit here looking at the stray. What a beauty he is. He's part Maine Coon Cat and Manx, I think. He's a grey tiger with wonderful markings and, of course, the trademark - no tail!

I'm not sure if he is owned or is a stray. He is skittish, but seems in very good health. Although each time he comes in, you would think he had never eaten before in his entire life. He has a very docile personality. And yet, he is very wary if you touch him.

Days go by sometimes without a visit from him which leads me to believe he is taken care of. I miss him on those days. I've seen him almost every day since I moved here. He would just let himself in the pet door and ravage the food dish.

His eyes are old eyes. He is weary. I don't think he himself is old. Just his eyes. They tell a story of hardship and pain. He has some battle wounds as well.

I think pet owners should be more responsible. In some respects it may be unkind to keep them in. But letting them run loose where wild animals can harm them (not to mention other 'domesticated' animals), to me, is neglect of the worst kind. It is neglect bordering on abuse.

He is laying there now... on his back... it's so funny, and he is dreaming his little kitty dreams. Visions of mice and birds and fish (oh my!) run through his head. I think I detect a slight smile on his face.

For tonight, he is safe and warm. For tonight, he is loved and cared for. Good night, Crocker... pleasant dreams!

New Year's Recipe

This piece touched me, so I'm passing it on to you...

Take twelve, fine, full-grown months, see that these are thoroughly free from all old memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy; cleanse them completely from every clinging spite: pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness; in short , see that these months are freed from all the past; have them as fresh and clean as when they first came from the great storehouse of Time.

Cut these months into thirty or thirty-one equal parts. This batch will keep for just one year. Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time (so many persons spoil the entire lot in this way), but prepare one day at a time, as follows:

Into each day put twelve parts of faith, eleven of patience, ten of courage, nine of of work (some people omit this ingredient and so spoil the flavor of the rest), eight of hope, seven of fidelity, six of liberality, five of kindness, four of rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad, don't do it), three of prayer, two of meditation, and one well selected resolution. If you have no conscientious scruples, put in about a teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor.

Pour into the whole love ad libitum and mix with a vim. Cook thoroughly in a fervent heat; garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy; then serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness, and a Happy New Year is certain.


(Author Unknown)

May the New Year bring you much Love and Happiness.

2009: Fact or Fiction?

Oh My God!!!!!!

Christmas is over and now we are looking at the New Year heading for us at warp speed.

There are last minute preparations for meeting Father Time and all the hopes he brings. There are parties to plan for, clothes to pretty up and resolutions to take off the shelf, dust off, and try again with a new vigor, a new resolve, a renewed gusto.

"2009 will be a year to be reckoned with," we vow. We promise each other, we promise ourselves and we forget the failures of the past. "This year it will be different," we declare, casting aside the tendencies we have to make mountains out of the proverbial molehills. (I always wondered what a molehill was and what it looked like, for that matter. And does it really contain moles? Ewwwww!!!)

"Yes, 2009, we will be masters of our own universe," we assert. "We will make good decisions and plans, we will bring ourselves into healthy living, we will discard bad habits like wet clothes. Yes, we will.... YES!!! WE WILL!!!

A negative thought couldn't possibly survive in this positive environment. We know it. We feel it. We feel its strength. We know its power!

So... Be well. Be strong. Be empowered. There are adventures to live and dreams to hope for. There are lives to change and precious little time to spare. To your health! To your dreams! To you!

Happy New Year!!!

The Christmas Anti-Climax

Well... Christmas is finally over!

Another year of overspending, stress-filled days (if not weeks), and broken promises to one's self that "next year will be different."

In the aftermath of the hurried gift openings, the squeals and delights, the disappointments (no one admits to them) and all the preparation, are we really satisfied that all this commercialism is the right thing to do given all the misgivings when it's all over? How can we break free of all the hype? All the commercials on TV? All the billboards? All the pop-up ads on the computer?

I have no clear answers to this dilemma. But what I have learned is to spend within my means and just to be grateful for what I can do. What I can't do any more is worry over what I can't do.

There is a clear difference between a person's needs and their desires. A Loving God provides for all my needs. It's my desires which cause all the turmoil in my life. So if I can't do or have all that I desire, then I better be grateful for what I have and what I can do. Anything less is misery... and we just can't have that.

After all... It's Christmas!!! I am hoping yours was blessed with good tidings, great friends and more Love than you can handle. That is truly the spirit of Christmas and we should reflect upon such things and know that in the final analysis, it's all that really matters.

Random Reflections

I wandered down the street checking out the displays in the store windows. Everything is so festive and brightly lit at this time of year. I wanted to find the 'perfect gift' for that someone special on my list. And no matter how much I convinced myself each year that it would be the first gift I would buy 'next year,' it always seemed to be the last one I would find.

Books are always a good choice. Between the covers wisdom and new ideas can be found. A good book can provide endless pleasure and solace. But this year, even the book store provided no answers.

Commercial chain stores would not give me what I sought, so I didn't even attempt to battle the crowds. Also, the jewelry stores would produce nothing in the vein I was searching for. It was good to cancel out certain types of stores. It would save time, that precious commodity of which we all wish we had more.

It had been days now... with no results. I was beginning to think that after all these years, this would be the year I would come up empty. And how ironic would that be? This was an especially triumphant year for me in many ways. From dark depression, I had been pulled up into a light so bright that I wasn't sure I could survive. The changes this year were cathartic, explosive and profound. How could I not find something this year of all years?

And so here I was on a darkened street ablaze with Christmas lights of every description and store after store anxiously awaiting the chance to soothe my soul. "I hadn't noticed that place before," I thought. "What a unique name... Heartstrings Curiosity Shoppe. Now that's what I'm talking about!!!"

I walked inside the door and was instantly transformed. The first thing I noticed was the tinkling of little chimes as I walked in. It was such a small sound but it struck a silence in my heart. I just knew I could find what I was looking for here. I felt at home here, peaceful.

The lady smiled at me and said, "If there is anything I can help you with just let me know." I liked that. No high pressure sales here. I began to browse. What a treasure trove this place was. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it wasn't so much the items there that impressed me as it was the way they were presented and the feeling I had just being there.

I asked her to tell me about her place. "Well," she said, and paused. "Everything here is handmade. No 'made in China' stuff here. Local artisans bring me all these beautiful works of art created by their own loving hands and I showcase them for them. For this privilege, I earn a commission. And the customers? They are the lucky ones. Between the artisan's hand and the customer's purchase, I am so very fortunate to be able to live with all these wonderful handcrafted objects and to let their energy sift into my soul. They might seem like just things to other people, but to me they represent love and caring. And who couldn't benefit from that?"

I stood there stunned and unable to respond. I smiled and turned to look around. I think I might have been embarrassed because I couldn't think of anything to say. But at least I had a new perspective of what I was looking at now.

I sensed the faint scent of jasmine in the air. I hadn't noticed that before. And soft music... a piano. And so I wandered through looking at all manner of hand-crafted love. One corner was solely dedicated to Christmas ornaments. "Isn't that amazing?" I thought. "All handmade. Huh! And so much nicer than anything you would find anywhere else." I suppose I was under the illusion that handmade meant tacky. I was proven wrong.

One wall was filled with wooden shelves and plaques, all very precisely carved, burned and shaped. I was finding a new respect for what the human hand can do. Another wall showed off what a person can do with grapevines. The wreaths and decorative swags were nothing less than stunning. I was lost inside this dream of a place.

She was right. My soul felt whole and at peace. All these items were a piece of someone's heart, lovingly created to share with someone else. I had to be able to find something here.

And it was precisely then that I noticed the table with the sign "Random Reflections." Hmmm.... I wondered. There were boxes... dozens of them. Some were round, others square or rectangular, hand-lacquered to a high gloss finish in black, with beautiful pictures on the lid. A small tag stuck out from each of them.

I picked up one box to read the tag. "Although this box may appear to be empty, know that it is filled with all that you believe inside yourself to be true. Find a still place and meditate on these words." I opened the box and on the inside top lid was a small mirror and scribed inside on the bottom in calligraphy was, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Another box contained, "Whatsoever you love the most owns you." And yet another, "I now pronounce you Human." So simple were those words. So effective. How symbolic was that little mirror?

And so I searched the boxes until one 'felt' like it owned me. And very soon, I had found what I was looking for. "Nothing more, nothing less... You are a Child of God."

I brought it to the lady to pay for it. "Nice selection," she said.

"Thank you," I told her. "I always delay that one person on my list until it's almost too late. I do it every year. Maybe next year will be different."

"You should always buy for yourself first," she replied matter-of-factly.

"How did you know?" I asked quite unnerved that she knew.

She just smiled at me, handed me the bag and almost as an afterthought, handed me one of her business cards. I didn't notice until after I had gotten home. Her card read, "The shortest distance between two hearts is tied with heartstrings, made by God."

p.s. Always be first on your list.

Tell Me A Story

Tell me a story... any story... a nice one, no violence, no drama.

Bring me to a place where I don't have to think, where I can just BE. Show me visions of wonder that make me feel gloriously alive. Let me shed my fears and worries, my doubts and hurries. Let me know you in a way I've never seen. I want to see the sparkle in your eye as you tell it. I want to know it's all right to dream.

I'll come back... I promise. But for now...

Tell me a story... any story... to nourish my soul.

Old News Is No News

I have lived long enough to hear the sentence, "It must be true. I saw it in the paper." Did any of you have a relative who said that at every chance they got? I sure did.

But that was before consultants and analysts and 'media spin.' That was before there was a reason to not disclose the whole truth to the public. So when did this change occur? I am sure I don't know. It was gradual, almost imperceptible. But then when you fast forward about 40 years you see a marked change. And you sit back and scratch your head and wonder where you were that whole time.

I was a news junkie for a long time. But having had my fill of half truths and 'slants,' I've decided to only talk about good news. Yes, there is some. I know. It's hard to believe. Stories of heros and heartfelt triumphs just don't sell papers or lead on the evening news. The more blood, the closer to the front page it gets. The more outrageous, the closer to the lead story it becomes. Well... you won't find any of that here.

You may disagree with my choice of topics. That's all right. We all have opinions and views. You can have yours too. I just choose to live in a more positive place than hanging on the word of every disaster that befalls our planet. There are plenty of those to go around. I want to lift hearts and stimulate feelings. If that isn't your cup of tea, you are cordially invited to leave. If you'd like to peek into your own heart, then join me. All are welcome.

Oh yeah... and bring tissue. You never know when you might need it.