The Fulfillment (Part V of V)

I came to you today in the hopes that I may have some great wisdom to impart to impress you with how clever I can be. And although my friends lavish my senses with generous praise concerning God's gift to me, I sometimes feel so sorely inadequate when it comes to expressing myself. I suppose that is the nature of being human. I don't know. All I know is that is how I feel sometimes.

I will give you fair warning though. I sometimes tend to be wordy... lol. And so this might be a good time to get a cup of coffee. I sense that this one may take a while to get itself on paper. And even though I wanted to write some greatly intellectual discourse wrapping up the other four days into one tidy little package for you, I have decided instead to tell you the story of how it came to be in the first place. In doing that there will be not notes this time. I intend to just 'put the pen on the paper and let it happen.' Writing from the heart is always what serves me best.

Early in December I was scouring the internet for pictures to stimulate not only ideas for my writing, but also for some to support ideas I already had. This is something I do every day. In my travels I was also hoping to find an idea for a gift for a friend of mine. Time was running out and I hadn't found that 'perfect gift' yet.

It was an ordinary day no different from the one before it. I hunt and search and then hopefully I write. That's my life. Pretty benign, huh? Now and then I stop when words fly off the page into my eyes and I read whatever has caught my attention. Hunt, search, read, write... the saga goes on.

But this article would be a turning point for me. This article shook the very foundations and core of me. I'd like to think I am so mature and worldly and that I have absolute certainty of who I am and how I fit into this world. But what I have found is that if I really pay attention to my life, those notions are challenged on a daily basis.

This article made me know a fear that I thought had long disappeared and I really didn't know what to do about it. Usually in those instances I go to my friends. I couldn't do that this time. This time was different. This time my whole identity was in question. This time I was left wondering once again in my life, who I was and what my purpose here was. This time I stood in fear of being forever lost - just one more time. I felt myself shrink up and withdraw feeling as though I was shielding myself. The pain felt unendurable. My heart was broken.

I laid down hoping I could sleep and shake this feeling. Maybe it would just go away. Maybe I would wake up feeling whole and intact once again. Maybe my world hadn't been rocked.

Before I even opened my eyes I felt the angst. I could feel me coaxing myself to just Stop IT!!! But it wasn't working. I couldn't write in this frame of mind. So I decided to just do more of the hunt and peck routine. Maybe I could find that gift.

About an hour into the search I hit pay dirt. I found a beautiful necklace with keys on it. They looked antique and represented a person's faith in God. My friend is a walking miracle and a bright shining star who wears her faith on the outside. She would love it ( I hoped ). The story of how the necklace was created was enclosed. It was the story of a woman's vision during a time of spiritual warfare in her life. It was perfect and so I ordered it.

The woman's voice was like the song of an angel. You could actually hear God through her voice. I felt uplifted and perhaps not so uneasy now considering the article I had read earlier that day. But it was short lived.

The article I had stumbled upon was entitled The True Meaning of Christmas. It was a Christian site and so I thought I was going to be reading the Christmas story. Repetition is a good thing. It's a story to be read, reread and told and retold. It is the basis of who I am and what I believe. And I like to reaffirm that every chance it pops up for me.

But I was not prepared for what I was about to read. I had long been aware that Christianity evolved very slowly over centuries and had adopted certain practices and beliefs that were related to other cultures. This article stated that and went further into very long explanations of all the facets that the author considered pagan ritual. Point by point and tagged with the related scripture, the article tore down every belief I ever had about Christmas. It even went so far as to say that it was possible that Christ wasn't even the Messiah.

My eyes diverted to the top of the page quickly. This was a Christian site? Yes, it was. I sat stunned and shattered. Of all the points made ( and there were TONS ), the one that seemed to bother me the most was the timing of Christ's birth. According to this article Jesus was born in the Fall. Had everything I ever learned about Jesus and Christmas been as much a lie as Santa Claus? I was truly shaken to the core of me.

The article ended with a grave warning that to celebrate the birth of the King on Christmas would only ensure my deliverance into Hell. And this was a Christian site? I sat there totally unsure of who I was, where I had been and now, where I was going.

I agonized for days over this dilemma. I prayed but got no relief. I asked for answers. None came. The Christmas spirit this year was now non-existent. I was going through motions pretending to be excited about Christmas. I hated this feeling and yet, how could I burden someone else with my sudden disbelief? That wouldn't be fair to them.

I decided to call one of the local churches to see if someone could talk with me. Several phone calls later I was still feeling the doubt and struggle. I remember thinking, "So... where's your faith now, Sally?"

On December 13 I got a call from my friend's father. He had received the necklace for her. He was going to wrap it up for me. His daughter was going through some personal struggle of her own. He didn't say, I didn't ask. He wondered if he could give it to her early? It might help her through it. I assured him that it was fine with me.

A little while later I realized I hadn't enclosed a card. Usually when I give a gift I write my own card and email it. I hadn't planned on her getting it early so I thought I had plenty of time to write it. Arggggg... now I had to hurry... lol.

Being a gift of faith, I wrote the story on one of my other sites. I brought up the picture of the necklace and stared at it. I reread the story on that lady's site about her vision. I read her personal story of struggle and how she overcame the demons in her life. And then I sat and closed my eyes and asked God for help. My own personal struggle was running wild within my heart. How could I write of faith when my own was so weak?

My fingers flew across the keyboard and aside from editing typos it was done in a matter of minutes. I read it over to make sure it sounded coherent. I was happy with it and published it.

A few minutes later I was half crazy for thinking I had stolen the woman's trademark by using the picture of her necklace on my site. I rushed to email her and to request to use it. I included the link for the story so she could see the context I had used.

In the meantime, my struggle was consuming a large part of each day. I was weary from the battle within. I wanted to feel intact once more. I wanted this article to simply go away. But it was like that story I heard forever ago about how you can't unring a bell. Well I can testify to the fact that you can't unread an article too.

During this time period I was sent an email that guaranteed I could have success in publishing a book I had written. To make that dreadful story short, it only costs $2,000. The first 30 minutes of the 45-minute recording had sold this idea to me. But when they announced the cost I felt something snap inside me. I immediately began to cry and I didn't stop for over nine hours.

I had had my disappointments in life. Who doesn't? But this one seemed to be more than my frail human spirit could endure. If you take the words crushed, broken and shattered and put them all together you only had the tip of the iceberg of devastation I felt. What was the point of my writing at all if I could never get it out there to be read? Why did I continue to bother? Worse yet, why did I have not only the gift, but also the accompanying passion to do it? All that seemed so cruel to me.

The super sales guy couldn't leave me alone after he had sent out the one email. I got another within hours. And then another and another. I had felt so crushed that when I got the second one I sent him a reply asking to be removed from his mailing list. I couldn't bear the thought of even seeing his name in my mailbox.

The straw that broke the camel's back came with the subject: So you haven't gotten the monkey off your back yet? Rage is a mild word compared to what I felt inside. Just who did this guy think he was anyway? He presumed to know what I felt and what self-limiting ideas I possessed. He didn't know squat about me or my position. And without thinking ( which I try to avoid at all costs ) I hit the reply button and typed the angriest letter I have ever written in my life. Enough was enough!

As I hit the Send button I looked up and said out loud, "So there!" to the guy. And in the same breath, "Well, God, it's up to you now." I wouldn't know until yesterday, but that was the moment my faith was restored.

The very next day the woman who I bought the necklace from contacted me saying she had something very important to speak with me about. I was baffled. The necklace had already been received and received.

When we finally made contact the following day, I sat in utter disbelief when she asked me if I would consent to writing her story ( in book form ). I didn't know why just then, but I never wavered. Something was telling me it would be all right. I gave her my immediate yes.

That was 11 days ago. In that time I have written many things. I feel an energy inside me that I haven't had in months. And then last Sunday as I was sitting and meditating, I had the idea for this series.

Five golden rings... the Five 'Fs'... Family & Friends, Feelings, Fun, Food and Faith. That was the message I received. And I was supposed to make some sense of all that? But that's how my mind works. I don't always know the outcome when I write.

Unlike the other four posts, I sit here today with no notes except for a list of pictures I would like to include. I feel humbled on this day to be the one to carry any message of faith when the last few weeks have been such a struggle for me. But God guides us all to do what we can when we can and so if you don't mind I will only take a few more of your precious moments.

Long ago I was given a simple method by which to live.

• Trust God
• Clean house
• Help Others

In trusting God I leave God's work to God. By cleaning house I take care of my own business. I hope for change and work towards it when necessary. If all else fails, I believe in miracles. They happen, but they don't JUST happen. Along the way if I am lucky, I get to help others. How I do that is a very personal thing. What I do may be different from what you do. We all do what we can and what we are able to do.

For me faith is absolute certainty in the face of impossibility. In its most basic form, faith is respect for all that is and all that I don't understand. Faith is trust in spite of adversity and believing we can and will prevail. It is a steadfastness and conviction no matter the worry or concern. Faith is a deep, soul-centered knowing that everything is as it should be and that all is well in my world.

Faith is the direct opposite of fear. If you will notice, there is no "I" in fear, but there is one smack-dab in the middle of faith. And faith isn't a passive thing either. It is spelled A-C-T-I-O-N.

I think faith is as old as mankind itself. The ancient trinity of Father, Mother and Child is something we all know and can relate to. It is sacred. I think it's coded in our genome as our direct link to God. While Darwin was searching for the missing link, he may have been better served to look within rather than outward around him because every answer we ever need is already inside us.

I believe there are more than the Five Golden Rings, but that God only gave me what I could handle at this time in my life.

• Family & Friends - We are all children of God. Our human families and friends here on earth are to teach us how to not only love each other, but also how to love God Himself. We learn from each other what is important and right.

• Feelings - Our feelings do not have to define us, nor be facts about how we live. We are in a constant and perpetual state of agreeing or disagreeing with the Universe. Feelings are the yardsticks we use that tell us how far away from God we are.

• Fun - The wonder of life is to realize that the joy is in the journey. Everything doesn't have to be work or struggle. We can slow down and enjoy the beauty and goodness in all that is so wonderful to behold in our world.

• Food - Without nourishment we perish. It is the same with our souls. The spiritual breaking of bread is our sustenance and rejuvenation. We should glory in the knowledge that we need never starve in the absence of nutrients for our soul.

• Faith - It is the ribbon we tie the package of life with. Faith isn't so much belief without questioning as it is a knowing without fear.

I don't know the exact date of Jesus' birth. I don't think anyone does really. And why did I allow the other author's discernment to outweigh my own? I don't know that either.

All I know is that long ago a child was born. It was prophesied that he would the the King. He lived his life free from sin. He died so that I could live forever. My life is better because he lived to teach me and died to save me. I doubt rituals, customs and borrowed practices will prevent me from being in His house one day. But shunning him, turning away from him and declaring he doesn't exist will. And that's what doubt in place of faith can do to a person.

My faith is like anyone else's. I have my doubts now and then. That's what makes me human. But I have an ace in the hole. I pray daily for the faith of a child. There is something so innocent and pure in a child's faith.

"And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Celebrate with me now, if you will, in the birth of Our Lord. Gather with your family and friends. Have fun! Become closer as you share a meal with them and feel every feeling you can get your hands on. Display your faith proudly and loudly. Remember.. Without Him we are nothing.

Merry Christmas... May God's Love shine in your eyes and come forth from your lips.

Faith - Good for the whole family

Do you hunger this much?

Respect

Peace On Earth, Good Will To Man

The Missing Link

Ring Number Four (Part IV of V)

Eating - we all do it. We either eat or die. That's pretty simple.

But for most of us that's where the thought process about food ends. We eat because we have to but mostly because it makes us feel good. There's nothing more satisfying than the full feeling after we have been hungry. It creates a sense of well being and grounds us. Ah, yes. It doesn't get any better than this.

But have you ever thought about why you eat what you eat? Or when, or what types of food? Or who you eat with (or without), or even where you eat? Me either until recently.

Food is a huge part of every culture on this earth. And along with the food itself there are rituals that tag along. Many times culture dictates a person's diet. Other times social or economic reasons prevail. But whatever the reasons, our sustenance is as natural for us as breathing the air.

In the time of Neanderthal man, I doubt there was much thought on the matter of nutrition. It was probably a case of eat or be eaten. He had to maintain his strength to survive. Survival, after all, is the most basic of instincts. Somewhere along the way I see him using a small animal to bait a larger one - the crudest form of trapping, thus ensuring another day's food to continue in his journey.

I'm sure they discovered that to band together improved their chances of making it to tomorrow. Without the benefit of language, it must have been difficult for them to understand the feelings they might have to envy someone else's belongings, however scant.

We imagine cavemen as being a savage and brutal lot, but who knows really? Did they fight over food and who would get it? Or were they the ones who invented the barter system? I'll trade you this hunk of meat for that fur. It could have happened that way. In fact, I feel certain it did.

I feel confident in saying that because food and survival are so basic it makes no sense to disregard that possibility. Neanderthal currency may have been food and used for basic creature comforts - furs and sex top my list. To me it seems it had to begin that way. The food for sex barter is still in use today. We call it dating. The old dinner, movie and sex routine. It almost seems that it is ingrained so deep within us that it might be in our genes at a cellular memory level perhaps.

Food has so many facets to its personality that the meaning gets lost in translation. It is passion for some, demon for others. Myriad symbolic forms press on us and mold our ideas about food. It is habit, life, excitement and ritual all rolled up into one neat package.

Rituals comfort us. They define our humanity. Furthermore they express our conviction that we are a civilized brood, not animal or savage as we view the cave dwellers. But no matter the elaborate symbolism, whether it be social, cultural, religious or emotional, its relevance binds us at a soul level.

Imagine a social gathering with no food. Quite an appalling thought, isn't it? Certain cultural and religious events wouldn't even exist without food. And the emotional bond to food is perhaps even greater than all the ones mentioned before it.

For me there is deep meaning and significance in a turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I can't pinpoint the exact meaning. I think it might have been when I was very young. But when I smell turkey cooking and then enjoy the meal itself, I am brought to a safe place within my soul. I doubt it is coincidence. It happens every time for me.

Emotional bonds to food can be greater than addictions to drugs or alcohol. Here we are at this time in history nearly panicked about the swine flu pandemic and this country has the worst obesity epidemic in the world.

Again, it's a cultural thing. We've become a lazy nation who allows ourselves (and our children) the luxury of eating out all the time unconcerned about the kinds of foods we are taking in. Pre-packaged foods are opted for instead of home cooked meals. The list of 'progressive' ideas goes on ad nauseum.

The plain truth to me is that it isn't so much what we eat that's harming us, it's what is eating at us. We celebrate everything with food. Birthdays, funerals, happy days, holy days, holidays... We eat comfort foods to soothe us, we prepare foods to impress others, we give food to the needy. It is the universal currency dating back to when we realized we had to eat to survive.

No matter the social, economic, cultural, religious or emotional ties, food is still the best thing since... no wait... sliced bread wasn't there at the beginning... OK, now I'm baffled. I say... Let them eat cake!!! (and various other eye candy delights)... Enjoy... See you at the fulfillment...

Ring Number Two (Part II of V)

Family and Friends - That group of people who can bring out either the best or the worst in a person. Feelings of of exhilaration followed by exasperation that can range from the warm fuzzies to homicidal tendencies. What land is this that creates such warmth only to be pursued by the deep freeze?

For me, the family unit has been the breeding ground for countless issues of resentment and the cultivation of low self-worth. Before you think this post is about my personal doom and gloom, let me assure that, for the most part, I have moved beyond those issues. I write this in hopes of touching someone else. I'm not so terminally unique as to believe that I am the only person in the world with dysfunction in my life. All too often I hear my story repeated over and over. In a word, it has become commonplace.

There is tremendous societal pressure to adhere to the principles of holiday tradition. The bell ringers sound off loud and clear reminding us to be more generous. The movie theaters and TV are alive with traditional Christmas movies. The radio blares out to us how wonderful the season is. And the advertisements... don't even get me going on that!!!

While there are allusions to the fact that every family has its flaws, no one wants to own up to the fact that Grannie drools or that Uncle Bebop did too many drugs in the 60s and is kind of weird (to put it mildly) when we find him staring blankly into a corner. Movies like Home Alone tell us that no one would ever leave their child behind, well, except for that little Johnny. He'd rival all those demon children in every horror film ever made.

The list goes on and on. You know the story. Yes every family has its characters, its strong ones and its flaws. And while the entertainment industry pokes fun at the less perfect members in a family, no one had better overtly laugh at mine! What is it about the family unit itself that makes us feel so protective even if we're disgusted with certain behaviours?

The social institution known to us as family seems to be ingrained so deeply. There's something remarkable about having a group of specific people with which we interact that we can call our own. That one fact separates us from the rest of the world yet solidifies our bonds within the group itself. It is the essence of the personal knowledge of each member and our experience with the unit that creates the belonging. And no one else's experience is exactly like ours. Our intimate connection creates a reality known only to us.

But not all stories have happy endings as in It's A Wonderful Life. Whereas most families survive in spite of their differences, others fall apart and become environments of hostility. There's nothing like Christmas to point out the sense of isolation and perhaps abandonment. For many there is no Holly, Jolly Christmas only the sense that the heartstrings were not tugged, rather broken.

I spent many a year suffering and re-suffering the experiences of Christmas-past. I tried to fill my life with other things and people, but until I had my revelation, so to speak, I spent the holiday season praying for December 26th so it would all be over for another year.

"What we surrender to owns us."

That's a pretty simple concept, right? And yet... it took me 59 years to finally get it. In lieu of having family who wish to interact with me, I had to take drastic measures and make harsh decisions to finally break through to the other side of the heartache and pain. I have no explanation as to why I was unable to do it before except that I hadn't hurt enough yet. That may sound strange to you but in my experience I know that for me to finally get the point, I have to come to know that there is absolutely, unequivocally no other choice. And I had finally reached that moment in time where I could make the leap of faith that if I wanted to be happy on Christmas, I could be.

What I had to do was totally surrender to the stark, raving truth about my family. They are who they are and I can't change that. BUT... I could change my perspective about the whole situation. The best advice I ever got was to just stop it. I thought that was pretty lame actually. Stop it. Didn't they realize that if I had any power over stopping it I would have done that years ago and saved myself all the torture? But they insisted that was the only way.

My arguments were defeated every step of the way. I began to hear my own words ring in my ears. OMG, I was a whiner! And truly, I was exhausted from feeling all that pain. I finally gave in and gave up the fight. Christmas and all its feelings of family and warmth could be experienced in another way.

It began in small steps to redefine my family. Today I have a very small family as compared to the biological one. But the one thing I can say about them is that they are there for me no matter the situation, no matter the pain. I have surrounded myself with the angels I call friends. They lift me up when I am down. They encourage me to excel in all I attempt to do. They don't see me as damaged goods. And the most important thing is that they don't just love me at Christmastime.

I always wondered what the world would be like if the roles were reversed. I wondered... "What would it be like to have all those warm fuzzy feelings from Christmas until Thanksgiving instead of vice versa." Today I know that feeling in the deepest parts of my heart.

Family - People I care about who happen to care about me too. People who insist that I be the best me I can be. People who love me unconditionally.

The journey was painful and difficult. All I had to do was stop it. Stop reliving it. Stop embracing the pain as if it were my personal badge of honor. Stop hoarding it and open up to the love available - If only I would accept it. It IS a wonderful life. This story has a happy ending. Maybe you can create your own family and your own happy ending.

No pictures today... only this... and maybe I'll see you for Ring Number Three...

Five Golden Rings... (Part I of V)

Christmas - that time of year when either everything goes very well or life abides by Murphy's Law. Sitting at the Thanksgiving table there is no way to know which way it will turn. And if you're like most people, it really doesn't sink in either way until it's nearly too late.

There's so much emphasis on spending (beyond our means). "Charge it!" is the battle cry on Black Friday. "It's today or never!" I really resent retailers who try to put people in a panic. I decided this year that the only panic I would feel was if it were self-induced. Truly that is the truth no matters who it applies to anyway. But as humans we are quick to point the finger outward totally oblivious that when we do that there are three more pointing right back to where the problem began.

And so this year I decided that I would try to unravel the brouhaha over the intensity and dynamics of Christmas. I can't say I was pleased. Soul searching always shows me some sort of character defect. But as they say, grow or go... go right on remaining the same.

What I boiled Christmas down to is what I will call The Five 'Fs' of Christmas, my own personal five golden rings. And for me, if I can balance these five things correctly then I can be assured of a pretty meaningful Christmas.

They are:

• Family and Friends
• Feelings
• Food
• Fun
• Faith

It seems the whole of the Holiday Season is activated, stimulated, agitated, anticipated, complicated by the feelings we have about Christmas. But knowing that feelings aren't facts, why do we then still project them onto the season? Most misery or disappointment is self-generated. Priorities are so mixed up that the meaning of Christmas itself is violated, obliterated and lost in the abyss.

Christmas is a time of celebration, appreciation and illumination of the soul. How can that happen when there are 14 pies to bake, 25 trips to the store for those last minute items on sale, endless wrapping of presents, 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat that wouldn't move if it's life depended on it? Oh yes, and there's the full time job plus the housework and the 'absent' hubby, not to mention the doctor's appointments, school plays, bill paying and let's not forget the sports schedule. And truly, a bath would be in order sometime soon. Oh, My!

I would die a thousand deaths for a scenario like that. But over here in Nowhereville, I am alone. I can't relate to those feelings. But I sure do have a bucketful of my own. I have an absent family and very few friends. But those I do have, I value as if they were my family, in fact, they ARE my family.

I guess what I'm saying is that no one's life is perfect. If you're waiting for that perfect life to come along 'someday,' then the entirety of your own life will pass you by and one day you will be left wondering what the hell happened. If you have family, cherish them. If you don't, then go out and find someone else who may be lonely and be the shoulder for them. It's surprising how much benefit you can get from doing a kind act for another.

Christmas isn't about the gifts you receive. It's about what you give of yourself. If you have much, give much. You can't outdo God. For what you do will come back to you, tenfold. If you have little, then do what you can, even if it's a kind word in a simple phone call. You never know how you touch other lives just by being there for someone. Material items will vanish, tarnish and break over time. But a kind word can be replayed over and over in someone's mind. And when you get right down to it, it's really all we ever have to give - that gift of ourselves and our time.

The music on the radio tells us that Christmas is approaching. And while you may be dreaming of a white Christmas all too many will have a blue one. I've never roasted chestnuts on an open fire, but I can remember wanting those two front teeth for Christmas. And while I've decked a few halls in my time, I wish I could find a fleece navy dog right now to cuddle up to... it's soooo cold here. Frosty the Snowman may as well move in.

Grandma never got run over by a reindeer. It was the kid down the street who ran over her when he was learning to drive. And I never saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus either, because he was always dead drunk on Christmas Eve. And despite all that, I still like to rock around the Christmas tree but, I assure you, I'll be home for Christmas because it's better than being with my relatives.

And while the silver bells ring in the city I'll be glad I'm in the sticks where it's nice and quiet so I can enjoy those visions of sugar plums stomping on my brains as I try to attune myself with the silent night to find joy to the world.

And hark, if those herald angels sing too loud, I'll exclaim as they try to compose themselves, "Do you hear what I hear?" And then I'll go pull the fire alarm. And as they run away I'll tell them to take that little drummer boy with them too. What a noisemaker he is!

I can't help it that Santa Claus is coming to town. This winter wonderland isn't the same without Rudolph. Ever since his nose went out and he left town, the twelve days of Christmas just haven't been the same.

The partridge no longer resides in the pear tree, but rather under the underpass on I-90.

The ten lords a-leaping got laid off due to Obamanomics. Not every leaper is destined for Broadway you know.

And the eleven pipers piping got 10-15 years for possession with intent to distribute.

The twelve drummers drumming got married to the nine ladies dancing and the three French hens. They all moved to a remote Caribbean island where that sort of thing is tolerated.

The two turtle doves got divorced and are living happily after.

The six geese a-laying became hookers. Why not? That's what they've been doing all along, isn't it?

The eight maids a-milking went on strike due to low wages compared to their male counterparts. A mediator was called in to try to negotiate a deal, but it doesn't look good.

The four calling birds now interrupt you at dinnertime with nuisance calls as telemarketers. One has his eyes set on a job at Verizon so he can be the one who calls the guy in the commercial who asks, "Can you hear me now?"

And the seven swans a-swimming are set for life after landing their dream jobs at Disneyworld. They look beautiful in front of that castle.

As for the five golden rings... they're mine, all mine. "Why is that?" you ask. Because I started this little episode on the differentiation of the white and blue Christmas. I led you through a Christmas maze of the feelings. We went up and down, hopeful then blue, and then we laughed just a bit. Isn't that just like any other day? Why make Christmas the bogeyman when it's suppose to be a time of wonder?

Your feelings don't have to define how your Christmas will be for you. You have the power to take it back. Experience what you most desire. If it's peace and quiet, then just do it. If it's fellowship and good times, then do that. But don't let your preconceived notions dictate to you what will be.

There! We just explored the first of My Five Golden Rings, one of the Five 'Fs' - Feelings. That didn't hurt too bad, did it? Now take just a moment to look at the following pictures. Ask yourself what feelings arise. If they are good for you, hold onto them. If not, just let them go. And maybe I'll see you next time for Ring Number Two. Merry Christmas to all...